|Left : Moutarde, Right: Leon, used as a bed : Tom|
I don't really know how.
I found him.
It was my first encounter with death. Face to face.
I am scared to life. I still can see his face, eyes open, open mouth in a very strange position.
I am a very sensitive person and I think this incident have scarred me for life.
Now I have tons of questions.
What did I do wrong?
Will my other cats be infected by the thing he had.
Of course, Leon was a dropped off cat. I arrived one day (two weeks) ago and that poor kitten was waiting so dirty and skinny in front of the barn.
I tried to fed him the best that I could. Nothing really worked it seems.
After my friends left tonight, I went in the barn and Leon was not there in his normal spot.
I felt in me that I had to find him, I search everywhere and when I arrive close to the barn, I saw some vomit spot. Plenty.
I saw him then, laying there between the wall and the hay. Dead.
It was a shock, it's still is.
I am sick to my stomach.
I try to forget the image, I just can't.
That's an image I wished never see in my life. Of course being there on a farm put the probabilities to a new high.
I just can't deal with death. As I can deal with mine, I just can't deal with others.
I was telling a lot of people that I was unhappy of never have found Isis's body... well I change my mind. I am very glad to be in ignorance. That's a kind of image I don't want to deal with.
He was 4 months old.
Edit: I talked to one friend who made me realized that the position he was in was probably 'cause he was playing and fell, since he was weak he probably broke his neck. Fast death.